Hello again, fair readers! I apologize for my lack of
posting in the past few weeks. Between the busy holiday season and the typical
end-of-semester whirlwind of classes, final exams, papers, and projects, I’ve
had little time to do anything other than study, sleep, and stress-eat. But
nonetheless, happy end of the fall semester to all! If you’re a religious procrastinator like myself, and need
some form of distraction before you get back to the studying grind, look no further;
here is a post on one of the most informative Career Center events I’ve
ever attended – Dining with Confidence: A Business Etiquette Lunch.
Table manners are often overlooked by our generation. Some
have placed the blame on our parents for failing to enforce a strict code of
conduct; others blame our instant-gratification, high-speed lifestyles that are
enabled by fast-food chains and nearly-universal wireless internet. No matter
the cause, the sad truth is that we are seriously lacking in etiquette. And let’s
face it, etiquette can be an important part of navigating the professional
world – do you think hardcore professional gladiators like Olivia Pope got to
where they are today by using the wrong fork to eat their salads? Luckily, Jean
Papalia, the Tufts Career Center Director and etiquette expert, holds a lunch
every fall for students, primarily seniors, to learn the proper ways to carry
oneself at a professional meal, be it an interview lunch or a company dinner.
As Jean explained, you want an employer to focus on what you bring to the
table, not what you do at the table. I had the opportunity to attend this event
a few weeks ago, and left so impressed by the many things I learned that I
thought I’d pass them along to you, my readers, so that you can dine with
confidence wherever you go! I won’t get into all the details on the many styles
of eating and which fork to use when – if you’re interested in that, you should
attend the event next year, where you can learn from a far more qualified source
than myself. Instead, I’ll pass along a few words of wisdom from the event, little things that you can practice in Carm or at home (not in Dewick though. Only
savages eat there. #teamCarm4life) and can really make a difference in the
impressions you leave on professionals.
- Eating bread can be more polite than you’d think. Bread is one of my brother’s favorite foods, and he has a tendency to eat it loaves at a time, usually by biting directly into the loaf and ripping off pieces with his teeth. I think it’s safe to say that this is not considered proper manners, and you’d probably be written off as a hyena if you did this in an interview lunch. The proper way to eat a dinner roll is not to bite into it directly; instead, rip off small, bite-sized pieces at a time, butter each piece individually, and eat one piece. This looks better, and it prevents the awkward situation of having to answer a question with a mouthful of bread.
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| Here's a great reference place mat. When in doubt, remember BMW for bread-meal-water and that silverware works from the outside in. |
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| Actual photo of my brother walking to the kitchen for bread. He's known to get cranky when he's hungry. |
- Don’t check your phone at/under the table. This is something that all of us have done before, and more importantly, that all of us know is rude. It sends the message to your dining guests that whatever is happening on your phone is more important than them. If it’s an emergency, it clearly takes precedent, but in general, you never want to have your phone out during a business meal. Try this the next time you’re eating – see how long you can go without checking Facebook or texting your study buddy.
- Pacing is important. Everyone knows that one guy who wolfs down food faster than a Labrador retriever, or that one guy who dawdles with his food for what seems like hours. When eating with professionals, it’s proper etiquette to dine at the same pace they do. Every few minutes, take a quick glance around the table; if everybody else is nearly done and you’ve barely made a dent, you might want to consider eating faster in the next course. This is particularly important at catered meals, where waiters will clear your plate once everyone has finished (hopefully around the same time).
- Remember to keep up the conversation. At the etiquette lunch, I volunteered to serve as the host for my table, which meant that it was my responsibility to initiate each course, toast the guests and guest of honor at the end of the meal, and, most importantly, keep everyone included in a conversation throughout the meal. If you ever host a dinner in your life, the last thing you want is to have it fall flat because of awkward small talk and reserved guests. Being able to facilitate conversation shows that you are personable and outgoing, and these are skills worth developing for any line of work. As a guest, it’s important to engage in the conversation rather than sit back and simply eat the food. Make sure you develop strong interpersonal skills before you’re put into a situation where you really need them!
Like I said before, this is only a small portion of what I
learned at the lunch. It opened my eyes to a world I’d
never encountered before. One of the important messages that Jean left us with
was that it’s okay to break the rules of etiquette – what’s important is that
you understand the principles, and can apply them in necessary situations and
break them if you feel it is acceptable to do so. So, the next time you can’t
remember which water glass is yours or suffer from immense pain from eating too
fast (which happens to me on a semi-regular basis), consider attending the
Etiquette Lunch next year – for the knowledge as well as the food.
Until next time,
Sean Boyden
Class of 2017
