The Dreaded Question - Rec Letters

Would you write me a recommendation letter?

It's a very simple, seemingly innocuous question at first glance. How much turmoil could those seven words possibly cause someone? Well...

Source (the really weird side of YouTube)

In my experience, asking someone to write a recommendation letter is a needlessly stressful task. I can't just go and ask. There's this whole process I need to go through before I can muster up the bravery and strength. If I may use a video game metaphor, asking for a letter of recommendation is like being faced with a huge boss fight that I still need to level up for.

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I've had to do it multiple times at this point in my life, but I still quake with fear every time I think about popping the question. Why exactly is it so scary? Some of that fear comes from the idea that recommendation letters are an important part of making you a strong candidate. If your rec letters are lackluster, then the rest of your application won't shine nearly as brightly.

Beyond that, the literal action of asking can be a source of stress. Asking people to do things for you isn't the easiest task for a lot of people, myself included. Whether it's a matter of pride, a fear of rejection, or the desire not to burden anyone, it can actually be psychologically taxing. However, those challenges don't make it impossible!

TIPS FOR REC LETTERS

Choose wisely. The most important thing about recommendation letters is that you ask the right people -- people who know and understand you. A lot of students have this idea that they should try to impress the admissions officer/employer. For example, I could ask one of the judges I met during my legal internship. A letter from a judge might show that I've met high ranking people, but none of those judges truly know me. It would actually be better for me to ask a professor who knows about my achievements and skills. A letter from them would be much more meaningful than one from someone who doesn't know much beyond my name. Employers can tell when a recommendation letter is personalized, and when its generic.

Ask at least one month before you need the letter. Giving the people you ask time to actually write the letter is critical! No one likes to be rushed, and this is especially true when writing recommendation letters. The more time they have, the better the letter will be. Also, keep in mind that professors/advisers/supervisors are all very busy people. If you ask them on very short notice, it's unlikely that they'll be able to put aside the time they need to write the letter and get it back to you before your deadline. A month at least is a good, safe period of time to give an adviser. If you can ask them even earlier, go for it!

Give them plenty of information about you. You want to make the process of writing a recommendation letter as easy as possible for the writer. To do that, you should be ready to supply them with any additional information they might want to have about you. Be sure to send them your resume, cover letter, personal statement, job description,  . . . and anything else you think they might want to reference while writing your letter.  I'll take it a step further and suggest that you coach your writers, or if it makes you feel more comfortable, tell them what you want them to focus on in the letter.  In fact, if you have other letters coming in, mention what the other writers will be focusing on. Even though you're not writing the letter, you can still have some level of control by strategically choosing who you ask and thoroughly preparing them.  At the end of the day, they will appreciate your forethought because it will make it easier for them to write the letter.

Realize that nothing bad will happen. This is the biggest thing I needed to think about, so I left the best for last. Here's the thing: the ABSOLUTE worst thing that could happen when you ask for a recommendation letter is that they say they don't have the time to write one. That's it. They won't be upset at you for asking, or tell you to get out of their office. Most likely, they will say yes. They might even be flattered that you decided to ask them, when you could've asked anyone!

Not likely to happen. Source

I promise that asking for recommendation letters is not as big a deal as it is in your mind. Once you get the asking out of the way, it's all smooth sailing.

Signing off,

Kelly Vieira
Class of 2015