Today’s Question: I found a job that I’m really excited about. I want to show how passionate I am about the work and the organization but I met with a Career Counselor who told me that I shouldn’t use words like “excited” and “passionate.” How else can I show them that I really want the job?
Answered by Donna Milmore, Tufts Career Services
You learned the answer to this question in expository writing. Use strong verbs. Skimp on descriptors (e.g., ‘ly’ words). Give examples.
Before: I developed a strong passion for understanding consumer needs during my experience at (company). My background and enthusiasm has created an excellent foundation from which I can contribute to your brand management team.
After: Working last summer at (company), I brainstormed ideas to generate a more detailed profile of our target audience. I volunteered to survey customers of a competing brand and spent two Saturdays at a local shopping mall. In the course of 20 hours, the results produced a potential weakness in our rivals’ brands that we were able to exploit in our next campaign. As a member of your team, I offer this same level of energy and enthusiasm.
Tip: “Readers … have a tough job to do and they need all the help they can get” from writers. ~ Kurt Vonnegut
Career Counselors are happy to discuss more detailed questions about cover letters. Call 617.627.3299 to make an appointment or stop by our Monday/Wednesday/Friday drop-in hour from 12-1 pm in the Dowling Library for a quick chat.